Barbecue Weather?

Apparently the Met Office lied when they said it was going to be a hot summer. I heard on the radio this morning their new prediction is that it's going to rain for most of August. So it's unlikely that barbecues will feature on anyone's social agenda for the next month or so but, just incase the Met Office are wrong (and it has been known), I thought I would tell you about some things I made for a barbecue back when it wasn't quite so grey outside.

I like to do homemade burgers since a) they’re nicer and less fatty than shop-bought ones and b) I’m a show off and they always get a good reaction. I couldn’t decide between beef or lamb on this occasion though so ended up doing both - the beef burgers in buns with cheese and the lamb ones in mini pitta breads with feta taztziki. And I didn't stop there. Oh no. Two lots of meat patties and I was just getting started.

It's rude not to provide something for the vegetarians so I decided on halloumi kebabs and there was a potato salad because you've got to have potato salad at a barbecue. I think it's the law. And a green salad, even though no one ever eats that. Then, because I had got myself thoroughly over-excited, I decided to do some corn on the cob as well and some Pimms lollies for dessert.

In my mind, it was going to take about 20 minutes to prepare. In reality it took closer to two and a half hours. But since no-one apart from Rich turned up on time (he and James lit the barbecue together in as manly a fashion as you can light a foot-high thing from Argos). Eventually the others arrived and we ate some food.


If you would like to spend a whole morning in the kitchen on a lovely sunny day, here is how to recreate our experience:

Beef Burgers

lean beef mince

egg

salt and pepper

(Damn it. After typing that I now have Lets Talk About Sex, the controversial hit by early 90s all-girl hip-hop trio Salt'n'Pepa, stuck in my head.)

That’s pretty much it. Sometimes I chop an onion very fine and mix that in too, but it’s got to be more or less minced or it doesn’t cook at the same rate as the meat. You need more salt and pepper (c'mon Spin...) than you think as well. Mix everything up together and shape it into little patties, bearing in mind that it’s going to shrink while it cooks.

Serve in buns with cheese slices (by which I mean slices of nice cheese, a strong cheddar or something a little bit blue, not those weird day-glo processed things) and a plate of lettuce, cucumber, tomato and dill pickle on the side for people to help themselves as they please.

Lamb Burgers

Exactly the same ingredients and method as above only using lamb mince instead of beef (obviously). You don't necessaily need the egg since lamb is fattier than beef so binds better, but I am creature of habit to I put it in anyway. I also like to put some dried thyme in too. These are nice served in mini pitta breads (put them on the BBQ for 10 secs either side so they puff up a bit) with a slice of tomato and the tzatziki below.

Feta Tzatziki

plain yoghurt

cucumber

feta cheese

fresh mint leaves

black pepper

Peel the cucumber and chop it into roughly half cm cubes. Crumble the feta. Mix them both into the plain yoghurt along with finely chopped mint leaves and pepper to taste. You shouldn't need any salt because the cheese is full of it. If it's too thick, add some water until it gets back to the consistency the yoghurt was before you put all that extra stuff in it.

Halloumi Kebabs

halloumi cheese

cherry tomatoes

yellow pepper

courgette

onion

olive oil

garlic

fresh chilli

herbs (parsely, coriander, mint)

black pepper

lemon juice

Put a couple of good slugs of oilve oil in a bowl and squeeze in the lemon juice. Crush the garlic, roughly chop the herbs and the chilli (don’t bother taking its seeds out) and add them to the bowl along with a fair amount of pepper.

Cut the halloumi into cubes and the vegetables into bite-size bits and dump them in the bowl with the oil and other things. Mix it all round til they're well covered and leave them to sit for a bit while you do everythig else.

When you're ready get some wooden kebab skewers (soak them in water for a few minutes to stop them burning over the flames) and put a couple of bits of everything on each. Cook on the BBQ, turning a couple of times and serve with pitta bread and chilli sauce (see below).

Chilli Sauce

onion

garlic

chilli flakes

tinned tomatoes

salt

pepper

sugar

Pretty much like making a pasta sauce, but all whizzed up at the end so its got a smooth consistency.

Sweat the chopped onion and garlic until soft, add the salt, pepper, sugar and dried chilli flakes and stir. Add the tinnned tomatoes and simmer until it's nice (I think you need at least 10/15 minutes for the flavours to combine and to get rid of the slightly metallic taste of tinned tomatoes) then blend until smooth.

Potato salad and green salad are self explanatory. I like to add chopped hard boiled egg, crushed garlic and chopped spring onions to the potato salad. Although, in the event, the eggs proved controversial (sorry Marie).

The corn on the cob is also undeserving of a recipe (although it was very nice). All I did was put some crushed garlic, dried chilli flakes and chopped coriander in some softened butter and smeared it on the sweetcorn before they went on the grill.

Desert wasn't enormously successful since I had bought lolly moulds unaware that the stand they came in wasn't just for show. They were not watertight and thus, when laid on their sides in my pathetically small icebox, leaked all over the place. I am still providing the recipe though since what I managed to salvage of the mixture was appropriately summery.

Pimms Lollies

Pimms

lemonade

strawberries

oranges

fresh mint

I left out the traditional pimms accompaniment of cumcumber as I thought it might go a bit weird when frozen. Apple might be nice instead though.

Chop all the fruit into tiny cubes (about 1/2 cm) and shred the mint. Divide the bits between your lolly moulds and then top up with a mixture of 1 part pimms to two parts lemonade. Freeze.

If anyone has a bigger freezer than me and would like the lolly moulds, do let me know. Of course you don't actually need special moulds. You could just use an ice cube tray like we did when I was little, sticking a toothpick in prior to freezing to provide a serviceable, if wonky, handle. Although I hasten to point out that, in those days, we were using orange juice and not Pimms.

So there you go. It took longer than expected to prepare, but it was well worth it. Just look how much fun everybody had:

Oh.