Restaurant: Quo Vadis

Having divorced parents may leave you with all manner of deep-seated personal issues necessitating years of expensive therapy, but it has its advantages too. Chief among them is the fact that, on your birthday, you get taken out to two nice restaurants instead of just the one.

As mentioned in my previous post this happy event occurred not long ago and, a few days after my father had treated us to dinner at Del Parc, my mother took James and me to Quo Vadis.

The name is Latin for “where are you going?” which is apt since the restaurant has a pretty chequered history. You can read plenty about it elsewhere but, incase you can’t be snatched, I shall sum it up thusly: Soho institution... 1926... Karl Marx... Marco Pierre White... Damien Hirst... falling out... yada, yada, yada...

It was recently taken over by Sam and Eddie Hart, the culinary brothers behind Spanish restaurants Fino and Barrafina, both of which I like a lot. They’ve abandoned the tapas thing for Quo Vadis though and it’s menu is instead “modern British”. It has been raved about by everyone who reviewed it and it’s not cheap either so (although I wasn’t paying) I was expecting great things. My expectations weren't dashed exactly - we had a lovely time - but they were slapped about a bit. Albeit in the most genteel way possible.

The stained-glass windows are pleasingly “old Soho” and once you get inside it’s all buttery leather banquettes, sparkling glassware and ever-so-slightly-camp Continental waiters. Things started very well with the house apéritif of Campari, Champagne and clementine juice which was delicious. My starter was fantastic too: a little heap of sweet, brown shrimps served on toasted sourdough bread with - classy touch this - half a lemon tied up in muslin so the pips didn’t fall out when you squeezed it. My Mama had crab mayonnaise and James had asparagus, both of which looked very nice but we were all rather too protective of our tiny portions to share.

Our waiter was sweet, but rather over-attentive and kept complimenting our decisions, a practise I always find a bit strange - surely saying something is a “good choice” implies that ordering some of the other things on the menu would be a mistake? Not the impression any professional kitchen would like to give...

My main of Beef Wellington was a) huge and b) hugely overpriced. If memory serves it came in at not much under £30 (£30!). It was a good piece of meat, cooked medium rare as requested, but the pastry case was a little soggy. This was, in part, because it was sitting on a pile of lovely, buttery spinach and surrounded by a pool of impressively savoury, glossy brown gravy, neither of which I could fault, but still... this dish alone was the price of a whole dinner in a lesser establishment so ‘good’ isn't really good enough. At the prices Quo Vadis charges everything ought to be perfect.

Side dishes were well done - tender purple sprouting broccoli and buttery al dente greens - but the servings were microscopic. Little white dishes, about four inches long and three wide (I have just looked at a ruler so I’m pretty confident of those measurements) and priced at £4.50 each. (More outrage: £4.50! etc. etc.)

I was as full as anything afterwards, but it was my birthday (week) so I courageously found room for a piece of treacle tart, as lovely an example of it’s kind as you could ever hope to find, served with a little scoop of clotted cream.

So, quo vadis? The answer, I think, is ‘not back there again’. I enjoyed my meal, just not so much that I’d be willing to pay (or have a close relative pay) to repeat the experience. I suspect this fact won’t distress the Hart brothers too much though: the restaurant wasn’t packed on the Monday night we visited, but it wasn’t empty either and the other customers looked to be mostly bankers. I hear Michael Winner is also a regular (poor Sam and Eddie). My mother is a very generous lady and showed no sign of minding the steep prices but, if she offers to buy me a celebratory meal next year, I shall choose a venue where I am less likely to run into the director of Death Wish.

Quo Vadis

26-29 Dean Street, London, W1D 3LL

0207 437 9585